That's... not how you're supposed to use a knife and fork, htt. You're allowed to hold your fork in your right hand if you're not using a knife, and you can hold it upside down when you do, but constantly swapping between them is just making a nuisance of yourself.
It's very well done, with lots of drama and so on and so forth, but this is really too drawn-out. Is the author's greatest regret in life having failed to participate in their sports day's relay race?