Hmm... I'm not a fan of this translation style. What's up with adding your own extra dialogue? And then, even removing some? Granted, I've only compared the first two pages against the raws so maybe it's more accurate afterwards, but this takes too much liberty with the TL than I'm comfortable...
@RedVanGhoul
It's the translation. Some parts are completely mistranslated. Here's a quick retranslation of Page 8:
"...because I was ordered to."
"Id est, concord cannot be attained."
"Thus then, my parting offering, allow me to confer to you."
(It uses some archaic words and stuff, so I tried...