Good work! For a first time translator, I don't see any mistakes in the grammar apartment. Can't say anything about the translation itself as I have no clue how to read japanese, but a good amount of first time translators don't proofread enough and the grammar gets all messy.
I went back the homepage before completely reading the last page and saw "axed by publisher" and was like, "what?!?!?" and had to go back to reread it. Phew...