You will never have a girlfriend like this. The closest your brain will ever get to this level is by mindlessly jerking off to Shindol and the like. Nobody will ever love you. You will die alone from obesity, balding and in a dark dark conner surrounded by pizza leftover and empty energy drink...
I so so so want to have some chapters of Keima conquering Elsie. The plot maybe like Satyr about to activate their secret weapon but Elsie manages to escape their control for a while. Imagine a chapter starts like this:
"Oniichan, it has really been a long way since our first met right? I will...