Thanks for picking this up!
As far as I can tell, the only mistakes are grammatical errors and misused synonyms.
For example: Page 5 "'Balance Crystal' You can return to the ground by touching it." I would use "Surface" here instead of "Ground" as it makes more sense, and on page 6 I would use...
@cor3zone Perhaps her mother was killed by human bandits sent by her brother in his attempt to cause unrest and his eventual takeover of the kingdom, who knows. My point is that what little we have seen of his former colleagues have had discrepancies in how they're portrayed, especially when the...
This story seems like an excellent example of unreliable narrator. Since we are viewing the past through the main character's eyes, of course he will view his ex-comrades as pieces of shit because he's a sociopath. What he has told us his party was like, and what they actually were like seem to...
Everything about this made it seem like it was going to be the Trigun of the modern age, shame it got axed.
Maybe a studio will make an anime of it and finish it that way? I think it would definitely be more popular animated.