Image 17, "many interesting intels" should be something like "many interesting pieces of information" to be correct, but since the bubble is small, I guess just "I learned lots of interesthing things." Image 19, "an insurance" should just be "insurance."
Your previous releases were really good, but there's a bunch of problems with the English here. I know no Korean, so a a lot of the changes are seeing something wrong with the English and having to guess a change. I apologize if this sounds overly critical.
Image 8: "It usually happens when...
Page 16, I assume "cold feed" should be "cold feet." Page 30, "asking us money" should be like "asking money of us" or "asking us for money." Page 33, "research" can be a count noun, but it is rare and will sound incorrect or awkward to most native speakers to say "a few researches" instead of...