This is a mess. Several flashbacks of different length without clear boundaries already made the start bumpy but now there are 2 Chapters of individual backstory in a weird/unnatural narative.
The FL has not spoken a single word in present time which makes her seem daft (I mean seriously even if...
@aereist
Yeah but shouldn't the wound look different then? With how it is drawn I would say it's a cut, and "Slashing resistance" doesn't really clarify if it has to be caused by a blade or not, right?
That nailclip-thingy-sketch though...
It's hurting my eyes how obviously wrong it is😫
That's not how it works😭
The screw has to go all the way through in order for the top bit to function as a lever (and the to bit has to be bent).
And girl, do you seriously think no one would take advantage of...
The explanation of rules really sucks... it would be more than difficult to learn it based on what she is saying...
Also why not just use wood for the pieces? I mean, the chess pieces are probably carved from that as well so it should be easy to think of. Personally I think cork would be too...
Okay... I thought the appraisal was meant to SEE the movement (maybe even in slowmotion) not slow down time all together. But even if that were the effect of it... Y'know, he wouldn't need the gremlins speed, or magic, or strength anymore...
This is just not properly thought through *sigh*
So... the start is a flashback? To the time he was killed by the knight-captain?
Also why panicking over the countess' death, just die within 24h and you'll be fine
The rubble "trapping" his foot is way too small... like seriously, I could lift pieces like that with ease, nevermind a KNIGHT COMMANDER. It would make more sense if his leg was actually crushed underneath a boulder... also why would he wish for it to be crushed, that doesn't make freeing it...
Soo... She's afraid of the alpha (I'm confusing the names all the time) leaving her and wants to leave herself, but if th alpha tells her she loves and wants to mark her she still doesn't get it?
Makes sense🙄
@mahtan
I'm really bad at remembering titles, sorry😅
(But that kinda also means that the were either insanely long, didn't leave a strong impression despite the good idea or had to few chapters out so far to bother remembering)
But they are out there... somewhere
Also I agree on the notion...