Second page, first panel: why the street on the foreground isn't aligned with the street on the backgound(they aren't on the same line)?
I don't understand how third page's building work. The passageway is slightly taller than a student, as suggested by a grass nearby (though it would be better to get a scale by other means, you don't want to confuse reader), but the spacing between windows is smaller - is that one row of windows per extremely tiny floor or two rows per a large one? Also, the next pages suggest that there's sometimes thicker beams between the windows, but we can't see that from outside.
The panel with grass feels out of place. I don't mind seeing real objects in a drawn space, but not when it's one obvious object that holds no importance (the same goes for the panel where there's suddenly the sky outside the window). I suggest upping the contrast of the grass and putting more objects of that nature, maybe like the clouds or lockers, or windows to liven up the scene a bit or draw all by your hands.
Speaking about drawing by your hands: I know that you want your panels and buildinga have a straight lines, but you using "line" function with thickest setting is not the best idea. Though it's a general manga sin. And I find that the line getting thicker the closer it's to foreground pretty neat.
Also, the first page, panel with the bed. Whi Ali completely vertical with a perspective like that? Her body should be perpendicular to bed, not panel edge. What that means is, for example, the reader might see just a bit of a second breast above first, a bit of a second hand, stuff like that.
I can't say anything about writing except that is not a story that I would like to read, be that due to my tastes or some mistakes on your part.
I hope this helps somehow.
