Shima Shima - Vol. 6 Ch. 48

[MangaDex]

 

[breizh]

Someone’s getting jealous. :)
This plus the fact that she felt guilty towards Gai when she was with Ran, it’s getting obvious.

 

[gingko]

I hope she doesn't let Rinda get away with what he did bc he really doesn't deserve to

 

[ShaiHH]

@gingko
Don't get your hopes up, at best she shoves him out of her life, but she doesn't seem in a hurry on that.

 

[piracyknight]

@breizh
I'm not sure about that, she had a problem with gai's mom which make her felt guilt instead of jealous, shio once asked him to stop working after all

 

[Tuturu46]

Cmon Rinda you can do better than that

 

[huiyin]

First, thanks @ksitt for being so open to constructive criticism! I think this chapter is much better. And you should get even better at rewording things as you get more experience.

I think the only problem is you still have some capitalization and incorrect commas. For example, on page nine, it says "This is worse, Than her being pissed at me." I'm sure you can see the problem with it. Don't let lines being split up on the page confuse you. Punctuate and capitalize it as you would any sentence. You can also use an ellipsis when a sentence is split on the page.

Have you considered using a normal comic font? Most of them are all caps, so you wouldn't need to worry about capitalization issues any longer.

 

[ksitt]

@huiyin, I appreciate your input! I am happy that my efforts are showing results.

 

[ktaztrofk]

@ksitt you're going great, thank you so much!