I sort of hoped that the literal translations and holding on to some Japanese adverbs/particles when they aren't adding anything to the English translation would have ended when the extra proofreader came along. Seeing "ano" and having は be translated literally into "as for x" often is just unnecessary.
I appreciate that the effort was made to translate it in the first place, but it sounds very robotic and unnatural as English, which somewhat undermines its enjoyability. It reads like the scan team is more comfortable with Japanese than they are with English, which may well be the case if one/both are ESL, but jarring to read at times all the same.