the initial hostage situation is a very old device. Nothing wrong with that, especially since from the look of the description it's supposed to be the basis of the main relationship, not a big thing in itself. But everyone knows what these things look like; there's no reason to stretch it out with panel after panel of the evil--or should I say, Eeevilll--gang leader twirling his metaphorical mustachios. Too over the top IMO. When you overdramatize that far it stops adding tension and starts leaching it out, all the more so when you don't know the characters yet so you don't much care about their deal. The hostage crisis is also not generally the place for the initial dump of exposition. Drop a hint or two, get to the action, explain later--maybe think how to do the explaining gradually. The audience don't have to know everything about the characters RIGHT NOW. The urge to just hand it all over is understandable--you've invented this cool person you're proud of and you want to tell everyone what's so great about them. But it bogs things down.