corrupt-a-wish

[HahaFunnyMeme]

Granted. But none of them will ever love you. Even prostitutes will refuse to fuck you.

I Wish i was living in Atlantis, with a way to breathe air indefinitely

 

[Tamerlane]

Granted, but you already can breathe air indefinitely due to aerobic respiration. You just need a supply of oxygen to do it. Also, because Atlantis doesn't exist and was just a hypothetical Plato made to make a point and everyone took it too literally, you no longer exist as well.


I wish If The Emperor Had A Text To Speech Device was canon to Warhammer 40k.

 

[dabson]

Granted, but Warhammer is the only thing on your mind for the rest of your life. You cant think of anything else consciously. Also no more nipples for you.

I wish I could be free of my inability to leave the internet permanently.

 

[alipz]

Granted.
You're gonna be isekai'd to the 14th century in Europe.
You would be infected with the black plague while the blood and pus would be seeping out from the swellings all over your body.
No internet for you, while lying down on your own deathbed.

I wish I can heal my own heart.

 

[dabson]

Granted, but every time you do your mind deteriorates while being put under severe panic attacks.

I wish I had the ability to leave the internet permanently without it becoming unavailable to me at all.

 

[TonyHawk]

Granted. You can now leave the internet permanently without it becoming unavailable. Nothing has changed.

I wish dabbing was unironically cool.

 

[HahaFunnyMeme]

Granted. But any time anybody dabbed, their arms would break by crushing the bones in the arms that dabbed into dust, however it is now so funny that anybody who sees someone dabbing will die from being unable to breathe from laughing too much and eventually die of asphyxiation. it is now being used by cults to terrorize people

I wish dabbing was not funny anymore

 

[TonyHawk]

Granted. Dabbing is no longer funny. It is now very serious business. Due to its boneshattering effects, it is universally understood as a sign of self sacrifice and respect. Jesus died in a dab instead of a cross. People propose in dabs. Iron Man dabs in Endgame.

I wish I could read japanese

 

[Tamerlane]

Granted. You can read the word "Japanese." There's three primary written langauges in Japan, not counting Romanji and other variations. None are just called "Japanese."


I wish he wear no shoe-shine, he's got toe-jam football; he's got walrus-finger, he shoot Coca-Cola. He say "I know you, you know me."

"One thing I can tell you is you got to be free."

 

[dabson]

Granted, he doesn't wear shoe-shine. You now gotta lick his grimey, shit covered, gourmet shoes clean. That shit gives you a poison(ed) heart.

I wish Sundays weren't so depressing.

 

[hazzack]

granted, but Wednesdays are now absolutely depressing

i wish birds rule the world

 

[zetsubouzanto]

granted , you now in the world of "Legend of the Guardians : The Owls of Ga'Hoole"

i wish for a glass of apple juice

 

[Tamerlane]

Granted. The glass is filled with apple juice, but it's unnaturally warm and yellow. Tastes about the same, though.

I wish Raid Shadow Legends was more self-aware.

 

[justforthelulz]

Granted. Raid: Shadow Legends gains sentience and proceeds to massacre all of humanity, with only a few pockets of resistance scattered across the globe.

I wish there was a way to delete accidental duplicate comments on Mangadex, while preserving the original intended comments.

 

[HahaFunnyMeme]

Granted. If a duplicate comment is created, the thread is deleted. you don't have to preserve the original comment if it does not exist.

I wish everything was normal, forever.

 

[hazzack]

granted, everything was normal since forever.
your neighbor is stabbed to death, just like every year.
the president is assassinated, smells like may.
the Elder Gods descend, then you realize its Friday.

I need more cocacola

 

[justforthelulz]

Granted. Your living space is flooded with The Real Thing, drowning you in a sugary pool of carbonated soda.

I wish people were more considerate of each other when driving on the road.

 

[newhek]

Granted. People are so considerate with each other, that every day is a world record for traffic jam.

I wish people would just shut up and stay at home in a time of pandemic.

 

[HahaFunnyMeme]

Granted. Everywhere is home now.

I wish everyone got a house, with no detrimental effects

 

[hazzack]

granted, every person in the world receive a 3m x 3m one room house -filling every lands available with small houses.

i wish i know what i'll get for lunch today