Hey new translator! Thanks for picking this up :) I think your work would look better with only a few small tips: if possible, use the "standard" manga font, fit the text to the bubbles a little better, and maybe get someone to check if the sentences flow naturally. If you want second opinions on work in the future I'd be glad to help (English is not my first language so it won't always be perfect but I am fluent, I have 10+ years of experience).