Kyoukai Meikyuu to Ikai no Majutsushi - Vol. 1 Ch. 1 - Strange Land

[4stjack]

Wow, this is nonsense. Such a poor translation. The translator should be embarrassed to release this level of quality.

 

[DeadKinginHell]

Um... Sorry, but without meaning to be rude...
Mr/Mrs Translator, can you write the translation in English, and not in Martian or Jupiterian?

 

[eridanired123]

WTF I just read?

My 4 y/o niece can tell much more coherent tales.

PS. Translation isn't amazing either.

 

[definitionofinsanity]

This is that infuriating middle line between readable Engrish and regular English where everything looks like it's fine until you start reading it and you're left wondering what the fuck you just read. At first I thought maybe there was just something wrong with me, but it became readily apparent that something was just.. off.

It's like someone took machine translation and then edited that without entirely knowing the English language. It's both better constructed than Engrish while at the same time being more distracting to read than machine translation Engrish. It's close, but... distracting and off. Ah! I know now: if language had an uncanny valley equivalent, this would be a prime example.

 

[Silwith]

@definitionofinsanity I feel you, somehow its even worse than just MTL, because it seems right, but doesnt make sense at the same time xD

 

[Tamerlane]

Oh my god this is so rushed.

The key principle of storytelling is "show don't tell." But of all the developments we got, it's all been shoved in our faces. What should have taken a few chapters to set up naturally and show us the world-building is all crammed into one chapter and it's too dense and exposition-y. The action scene at the end is just tossed in there and I feel like we hardly know enough about the step-brothers to make the beat-down satisfying.

Dropped.

 

[blackhat1993]

Somehow i can't find any excitement for this chapter, there is no ecchi slip too.
this kind of pace is not supposed to be in chapter 1

 

[Liquidxlax]

you know what is retarded is that he said a thief broke into his house and stabbed him. Yet, why would a thief need to attack a guy who is playing that since they are fully immersed in the game they can't hear the outside world. It'd make far more sense if someone went in to purposely kill him cause it'd be pretty easy to rob a dude who is in that game.

 

[Kaarme]

Mangaka: Let's make a manga that only the readers of the original novel will understand. For everyone else, it will look like nonsense.
Editor: I've never heard of a more ingenious plan! Let's do it!

 

[Jumboshrimp98]

Rather than a thief, isn't that just a serial killer?

 

[GrimGriefer]

(page 5)"BFO is a world where you can play using your feelings"

Spoiler

@GreyouTT Thank you! It was much improved. You should post it here so others have an easier time seeing it

 

[GreyouTT]

@GrimGriefer If I did, It would be after I redid the whole thing, since all I did was reword the original translation as well as sub in a line from the novel (which probably wasn't a good idea now that I look back on it).

 

[Goretantath]

@GrimGriefer my thoughts exactly xd

 

[Anreon]

It's very important to have a political war!

Didn't you guys know? TF am I reading lol

 

[cwhp]

I have whiplash now, what the fuck happened?

 

[tamerblur]

A LOTTA LOYALTY FOR A HIRED GUN,
PERHAPS HE IS WONDERING WHY YOU WOULD STAB A MAN BEFORE ROBBING HIM
IF I TAKE THAT HELMET OFF, WILL YOU DIE
IT WOULD BE REALLY EVENTFUL
YOUR A BIG GUY
FOR YOU

 

[Didjibro]

Omg the MC basicaly ask to be stab and the killer can't do it properly smh...

 

[sanctuary]

I feel like I have 2-int when reading this chapter, everything is out of the place, are there some pages missing or something? the translaion is wacky? I dunno. Thanks!

 

[captain_crunch]

Did the burglar come out of the closet?

 

[-_-_]

The mc should learn how to lock the door.