-Giving some responsibility to the house hold to the first wife (in charge of finance) is acceptable, but given her work load he is clearly shoving more than he should.
-Even at the request of the mother-in-law, the work of servants should never be done by a noble as it is beneath them and insults their status. The husband can not be so ignorant as to not know this happened and yet he never brought it up.
-The husband should ride in the carriage with the first wife and they should lead. For the husband to sit with the second wife AND have the first wife intentionally trail behind is not just preferential but insulting to her status. (He could have sat with the second wife but had the first wife lead to show he at least respects her position of status.)
-Why bring a wife to a party and then bar her from entry? If he knew about the restriction, then he should have just asked her to stay behind. So the party mishap was likely due the the second wife. But even still, did he never question where she was? Why not find and apologize to the first wife, or at least send a servant to relay his apologies?
-The last to enter the party is the most important. Having his wife enter first was an insult. ( Considering the engagement announcement it makes sense to enter with the host. This is excusable but not very nice.)
-Even if the husband had to attend an after party and could not find the first wife, the proper procedure was to at least send a servant to look for her and relay the message. And why not bring his fist wife to attend?