Oversimplified SCP - Ch. 33 - SCP-871

[ColonelCrisp]

Just stuff the cakes into SCP 106 pocket dimension or any SCP that has infinite space.

 

[ampnaman]

Nice solution to the global hunger issue... of course proper disposal of leftovers into alternate dimensions is advisable.

Or better yet, why not create a machine that replicates a biological stomach? Churn and melt the cakes in chemical acids, thereby tricking the SCP that it's being properly eaten.

 

[gum_rummy]

Cake!

 

[Pooky2011]

The most delicious apocalypse ever

 

[TheDerangedOne]

@Ampnaman if it can tell when it's being eaten by a human vs being eaten by a cat that artificial stomach won't work. But yeah, let the world eat cake and vent the rest into space or another SCP or something.

 

[reika]

I'd be so fat!

 

[trolldelava123]

@kidohara
Scp-504 (tomatoes): * triggered *
Ps: good joke XDXD

 

[JohnnyBallsack]

There is a way to stop its replication, its called "America"

 

[GravityTaxes]

Upon creation of an instance of SCP-871, Class D personnel are to be induced to consume it.

"so what are your career goals?"

 

[MLGH4K3R]

c a k e

 

[Anoncommenter9]

@JohnnyBallsack specifically southern areas

 

[PramTheOracle]

Disposing it DOESN’T WORK

It has to be eaten by a human

And throwing it into another dimension is a dumb dumb dumb move, it will just spill over once it’s completely full

Also hell yeah my fellow Doraemon bros. At least THAT one can be solved by sending it into the sun. This one explicitly can’t

 

[yurikosempai]

Well that's one way to solve world hunger...

 

[MonsieurWeeb]

we need human SCP that can eat endlessly
Or everyone will have diabetes after a few days then drown in cakes after 80 days

 

[Rancor]

Use the 001 Proposal that's a reality-changing document to write "Cake can't multiply".

Done.