Pernathoris Discussion.

[DeathCards]

https://mangadex.org/title/32649/pernathoris

So far I have uploaded two chapters and I am about to finish it on the 3rd. I want some feedback to better myself on story telling, panel placing speech bubbles and art. If anyone has the time to even skim through it I'd be happy to hear your thoughts on it. Thanks in advance.

 

[LowSanity]

I just skimmed through. I don't think i can help you much with the story.
What i will say is probably subjective. Speach bubbles are fine and i like how they are connected with the swirl. It adds some character. Panel placing is fine in my opinion. The art is quite good, i really like it but a few things can be improved. The snowy outside looks great. Both man and girl have good proportions, the girl is cute.
Ch1.1 Page 17 the many eyed monster and dragon are too similar in colour and shapes of their legs are quite alike, it makes them blend together.
Ch2 Page 4 when you create the room you should pay attention where things are placed. Look at where table with chairs is related to the bookshelf. Page 9 the bookshelf changed place. It's small thing i know.
Lets say something 'bout backgrounds, they are mostly great. In first chapter there are loads of spacey background and they look great. Chapter 2 have room background and i love them but it have completely white/blank backgrounds and i'm not a fan of them.
Like i said i just skimmed through it so i'm a little confused with what's going on. I feel like i would love to read it as some short story with art more then comics/manga style.
Like i said it's probably subjective so take it with a huge pile of salt.

 

[DeathCards]

You are correct on the dragon page. I should have drawn a thicker outline on his figure to separate him from from the noise. And on the background I must have skipped a few steps whilst drawing the background. Should have paid more attention to my references.

Thanks for checking it. I'll take everything in account to improve my 3rd chapter.