Say something controversial

Cowboy Bebop, AoT, One Punch Man, All Kpop, and all "streamers" or other internet "personalities" are all garbage. Also Geshin is a terrible game.

ALL HAIL YOUR LORD AND MASTER, THE BRINGER OF SQUIRRELY WRATH, LORD FOAMY!
 
Rome did nothing wrong,
all is her rightful clay.
Mare Nostrum indeed.
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Moses was a communist
Jesus most likely paid taxes
David did NTR
Enoch, Lazarus, random child and a few others didn't follow YOLO
Jacob didn't see just an angel
Lot's wife is salty
 
Here’s a truly controversial statement:

Pets are a waste of money and time. They’re leeches of the highest order, NEETs if you will.

Dogs are obnoxious, disgusting and high maintenance neurotic dependents.
Pigs are for food, not for hoping they don’t grow large and eat all of your food while destroying your house.
Cats wreck everything and are violent bags of shit.
Birds are loud, self-destructive and are biohazards.
Rodents are gross, unsanitary and are easy to lose.
Reptiles are walking Petri dishes and are anxious messes that’ll die if you stress them even slightly.
Fish are pointless, you can’t even interact with them.
Amphibians are stupid and will always run if given the chance.
Horses are for rich and obnoxious valley girls to [redacted].
Bugs/Insects are “I seriously hope you guys don’t do this.”

tl:dr Nonhuman animals are for eating, not keeping as vapid entertainment.

@teddy
Us Jews call the stories in the Torah/Bible/Quran the world’s first soap opera.
 
@wowfucktron
If humans were completely logical, then keeping pets would be illogical. But humans aren't completely logical, so keeping pets is, ironically, logical.

They help with companionship and that sort of stuff, since most people need some kind of interaction to keep themselves from jumping off bridges (exaggerating here but yeh).

This isn't including assistance pets or dogs that know how to get beer from the fridge though, since those are definitely beneficial in a logical sense. You could also spin having a pet as logical as it might give you more opportunities to bond with fellow humans.

As for me, I might get a robo-pet when those become a thing. Maybe a turtle.
 
@bigtiddyoneesan
Shush, no bringing logic into these parts. I just hate dog owners/dog people and their lack of responsibility.

Maybe a turtle.
Turtles are a pain in the ass, I had one growing up.
They stink like no other and they get into ruts (male version of getting in heat) all the time.
Don't ever let one hump you, they'll bite you (hurts like a bitch) if you haven't "dominated" it yet.
Sadly, they're not sturdy at all. Food needs to be leafy or root vegetables otherwise they'll choke to death.
You can actually kill one through dehydration (they flush all urine and water out of system during fright) if you scare one enough.
 
Dogs are the crack whores of the animal world. Love anybody who pays even the slightest attention to them to give them their "fix".
Cats are high class escorts and Bond Girls. They take wooing and work for their love and you must convince them to ditch their high standards.
 
@wowfucktron
The Virgin organic lifeform turtle:
>[everything you just described]

vs.

The Chad fully mechanized artificial turtle:
>can be turned on and off via remote
>different levels of energy, set and switch to preferences at will
>heavy but not too heavy, can be kept on bedside table in the event of home intrusion
>only requires an outlet and periodic at-home maintenance and cleaning to function
>comes with wall mount, various lighting functions, including disco mode

Gen Alpha won't know how good they'll have it.
 
@greenfrost
1609521912.202.21460.gif

They’re wolves with Downs Syndrome, uncomfortably friendly and not an ounce of self preservation.

Wolves instinctively try to kill dogs for either food or because they believe dogs are too stupid to survive on their own, dead weight to the pack.

They’re also products of thousands of years of incest caused by humans desiring to make the Ubermensch of home security systems.

Fuck dogs, they are nothing but disgusting vermin owned by the most irresponsible people.
 

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