It's nice that this is getting a translation again. The english is good, and the editing also looks good. The only thing I would say is that he needs to go a little easier on the commentary. It starts to get annoying if it's every other page.
Thanks for the feedback. I was gonna ask about how frequent the interjection should be - I'll tone it down from here on out. It is the mangaka's story and not mine, after all; my role should be to best convey the story without derailing it and keep the comments to a minimum (like in the afterword).