I think you misunderstand a little bit, she has a position almost no one have. Its just that for our parameters she's just being used and offering much more than she's receiving, but in reality she's really powerful, has a lot of influence and control in a period women barely could speak.
doormat...no she is not...she's already the equivalent of a noble vassal...she's also begun to make political moves on her own to shorten the era of conflict...its just that shes the vassal to a man who has one speed "boldly forward always" and a man like that makes everyone around them seem lesser by comparison