In a perfect world, all the Japanese words would be replaced instead of translated to the side, but having attempted cleaning and redrawing myself, I understand it can be a pain in the ass to make it look even half-decent, so this is fine really.
The fonts and overall typesetting you used here are pretty much perfect, and a lot better than in chapter 1.
I think you should rotate margin text but not a big deal.
Thank you for the translation, looking forward to the next chapters