oh fuck, I wonder if we will ever get a page or so of what went down when humans found out what elven pearls were/are. If we can't have magic, I would at least like that convert your shit to energy and shit out  a clean dry nugget  so long as its diameter is <1 inch because you butt hole does tighten with less use and it will hurt to pass if you can.  Wouldn't want elven pearls building up in your colon