corrupt-a-wish

[HahaFunnyMeme]

Granted. Its always morning

I wish i was not dead

 

[dabson]

Granted but you are always pure pain while you're alive.

I wish i was a duck.

 

[Granitefish]

Granted, it's duck season,

I wish the world was round.

 

[zetsubouzanto]

granted , but you're on medieval-dark-age europe setting where if you stated that you got branded a witch or a dark art practitioner and proceed to burn at the stake ...

i wish cats like me

 

[HahaFunnyMeme]

Granted. You are now a cat

I wish i had no presence

 

[hazzack]

granted, you are now a canned bluefin tuna produced especially for cats

i wish stop lingering here and do my assignment

 

[Alyssofhearts]

Granted, you do your assignment. However after you finish you realize that you did it wrong and have to start over from scratch.

I wish that when I die each of my loved ones would get a 15 second video of my favorite memory involving them.

 

[Tamerlane]

Granted. It is the memory of you dying.

I wish that the Pyramids of Giza were never grave-robbed but instead all of its treasures were secure until modern professional archaeologists and Egyptology were able to properly study them, in which they can be safely displayed without ever getting ruined, destroyed, or going missing ever again.

 

[HahaFunnyMeme]

Granted. But all their mythological effects are real and the world is fucked

I wish I was a slightly better canned bluefin tuna

 

[Haikaka]

Granted, you are brought to church by an old lady every thursday and sunday, thus receiving absolution. You now have a slightly better self.

I wish Manu Dibango didn't die of coronavirus.

 

[hazzack]

granted, to achieve that you must offer the jazziest jazz to the world

i wish somebody can offer the world the jazziest jazz

 

[dabson]

Granted, but you hate how it sounds and it makes ypu want to kys.

I wish I was superman

 

[Granitefish]

Granted, as long as you are holding Kryptonite you become Superman.

I wish my ears would stop hurting when I listen to music.

 

[Haikaka]

Granted, to have that you must listen to the jazziest jazz in the world, as per two wishes ago.

I wish I had a Sub-Etha Sens-O-Matic, an Electronic Thumb and a bath towel.

 

[Tamerlane]

Granted. You go to take a bath and you die from the electronic thumb frying you with electricity.

I wish monkey paw wishes actually granted wishes but didn't have some weird catch to them

 

[Sabriel]

Granted. The wishes turn out just fine, you are however harassed endlessly by the monkey the paw belonged to and their tribe. They fling poo.

I wish I could sing well

 

[Ivegotnolife]

Granted: You now sing like a whale.

I wish I possessed universal assessment and editting magic!

 

[Logoff]

Granted: you possess really bad universal assessment and editing magic!

I wish I had 100 million wishes that are perfectly normal and have no issues.

 

[Tamerlane]

Granted, all those wishes have to involve having anal sex (receiving) with a homeless man named Joe from Florida, who has more STDs than should even be possible given he's a virgin. Also, he's a crack addict. Have fun!

I wish for the Mongols to reconquer the entire Middle East and for it to be just one Khanate that is no longer massively violent, war-prone, or genocidal.

 

[dabson]

Granted but they chop your dick off and feed it to you. Also there is peace because freedom hath been slain.

I wish to be the very best, like no one ever was.