The Flower Dances and the Wind Sings - Ch. 20

[Sootyxsnowpetal]

Oof, this was all a perfect storm for unhappiness. Everything and everyone played a part in it, even if Ercella was the direct cause for neglecting her child.
Being 16 and getting arranged into a marriage and losing the vast majority of your social circle, losing your parents, and then being alone with depression can take a toll on anyone. This isn't something that you can just get yourself back on track easily.
I guess the one thing we can all take from this is that both no one and everyone is at fault for a tragedy like this. Sometimes life isn't perfect, and sometimes life just happens the way it does. Ercella's one biggest saving grace is that she is now trying to have a relationship with those around her. Trying has to mean something, and it is better late than never.

 

[aiebime]

The bottom line here is that both of them were not actually prepared to be parents added with the unexpected and unfortunate events.

Both have their own private issues and they certainly didn't have time to know more about each other. No one is entirely to be blamed, which is sad

 

[ash006]

Maybe it's just me, but I just wanna see her interaction with her kid, like I don't really care about her past. Like Ik that sounds mean, but it would be better if there were flashback scenes and not whole chapters lol. This might just be cause I wanna see her rebuild her relationship with her kid faster.

 

[mmonstra]

@soowot Ercella is actually very clear about why she was so distant from Vicente after his birth (she says it in the chapter before all of the flashbacks). It's because she was feeling so terrible and felt that she couldn't feel that way about other people/things in her life (like Harsen and his father and her own father bc they had done so much for her, society bc "everyone goes through this") and so pushed and projected all of that frustration and resentment towards her own son... Possibly because he was a part of her, possibly because she sees him as a symbol of the terrible time she went through? Or because being a mother is just another stressful Thing for her to do and she felt at capacity and thus refused to deal with it (her son and motherhood).

I'm thinking that it's in part out of guilt that she didn't feel a motherly bond when pregnant or shortly after giving birth and so, rather than face what probably felt like a failure of womanhood/motherhood, she filled her time with parties and gatherings. I don't think it's about fear of losing another person and thus refusing to get close in the first place, but more like... Feeling disconnected from her role as a mother and how she's supposed to relate to an entire new person that she gave birth to and is now in charge of caring for and protecting.

It's not that she doesn't love Vicente (eventually, most notably after her death and the realization that she neglected her son to the point where he didn't "feel anything" about her death — which I think is not true, but is more about her recognizing that they have no relationship), but she neglected him and wasn't a good or fit mother. I really do think that she's worse than Harsen in this regard — he's not the best father afaik, but he's at least less neglectful — and she's absolutely lucky that Vicente is young enough that his want for his mother's care is stronger than his anger at her neglect.

Also they need family, couple, and personal therapy

 

[mmonstra]

@Aurantix People in the comments (generally, not just these ones) are largely shit about empathy and make me go at how bloodthirsty they can get.

I'm thinking it's a combination of how the story is evolving, making it easier for more sympathetic commenters to leave comments (whether their minds have changed or they're just more comfortable leaving sympathetic comments), and unsympathetic readers dropping the title or feeling uncomfortable leaving negative comments because the atmosphere here is now largely compassionate towards Ercella's struggle.


Edit; I will absolutely take the high moral ground here lmao because I try to be compassionate towards as many characters as possible. I've defended Rashta of Remarried Empress!!!! (novel comments, not the webtoon) I fucking HATE Rashta, but I absolutely understand her motivations and I never really blamed her for it but fffffuuuuuucccckkkkk is she annoying as all hell (and ditto w Sovieshu or however his name is)

 

[ysnap]

wish the flashback chapters will stop soon

 

[AdmiralPenguin2]

The flashback is significantly more complicated than I thought it would be. Nice

 

[AnimefangirlX]

I've defended Ercella in the past, but now I'm discovering that her so-called traumatic past is actually... not that traumatic? Yeah I can see how she could be lonely after growing up in such a warm environment, but apart from the father's illness - distressing as that would be - everything else is normal for the times. She wasn't even that close to her father-in-law, the servants are standoffish but not disrespectful, aside from the mood swings and morning sickness her pregnancy isn't that difficult.

Maybe later chapters will show even more trauma to justify 18 years of neglect.

 

[Mira995]

Lol !
People who are saying Ercella is a bad person, that she wasn't traumatised. Is was never about a traumatic event ! It was about depression!

And guess what ? You can't go to a depressed person and just tell him/her "hey dude ! Your stupid ho can you be depressed?"

Depression is complicated. You can be in a loving family, having everything the other would wish for yet get depressed

You don't control it ! You are at its mercy

 

[athyloveclub]

some of yall really don’t know how severe years of untreated depression can be and IT SHOWS

 

[cesweiss]

Can't help but compare, IMO, this is more realistically portrayed than that of Abandoned Empress

Spoiler

where it was because of a 'poison' that Ruve abused Tia.

 

[Seriously-]

@AnimefangirlX No tbh I really emphasize with her that she went through constant pressure and isolation ppl be out her running for the gal's blood, but when my depression hits hard enough, you bet I'm not doing shit. But this woman is pregnant, her dad's dying and her husband was sent to die but she's what? 20? Younger? And still she's got to protect herself from vultres coming after her man's inheritance already ffs she said that she was feeling suicidal have some mercy.
In the same way that Rashta was looking out for herself Ercella hasn't got that background or street smart where you look after you (which I can and do respect) not everyone has the same grit or even self-love to deal with stressful situations, she's practically a lamb to slaughter at this point :c

 

[Blanc63]

Not that traumatic??? Seriously? Try being pregnant that young? At 18? And do you know how hormones work during pregnancy? Not having your beloved ones during pregnancy is stressful enough, but husband going to war risking his life not knowing whether his body would return alive or not is just . To add, her beloved father and fil died. And let's not start with her having to fend off greedy relatives alone. If I were in her shoes, I would go crazy and cry everyday. I'm that weak.

 

[ARMED_Rabbit999]

The struggles is real . It’s such a realistic portrayal of marriage and hurdles.

 

[peerfulreader]

isn't Harsen a very loving husband throughout this episode? He's always by her side and always try to find the solution. even though pregnancy hormones isn't something you can fix. it's kinda sad that Ercella was forced into one perspective: her husband only marry her for convenience. Her problems with her family was so big that she could only think that other people did things for the same reason she had to. It doesn't help that she was only a teen because it's at this age you usually fight with others to learn that theres more than just your perspective. Overall, it's just sad and I like how the author gave her a very real issue instead of a bad excuse.

 

[The_Crimson_Moon]

Ahhh I get the things from her side but I want to say this:
You can sympathize with Ercella as well as understand that she is to blame and she should be held accountable for those 18 years of neglect her son faced.

You don't need to choose one side. There is a gray part.

Thanks for the chapters!!!!

 

[Kozutan]

@AnimefangirlX
If you think depression isn't that "traumatic" and serious, then do yourself a favour and Google it symptoms and everything about it.
She was also pregnant, so you should think about how much it could affected her.

 

[AnimefangirlX]

Don't get me wrong, guys. Postpartum depression can happen to anyone, even in a happy family with no external factors. So Ercella could have suffered from that regardless of her circumstances.

It's just when you take out the "PPD can affect anyone" element and look at her circumstances, they aren't really that bad. Harsen is a lot more affectionate than I'd expected, her family adores her, her in-laws treat her fairly well, no physical, mental or financial abuse, she's shielded from politics... Having an ill and dying father she can't see is difficult, but it's nothing no one has ever been through. She isn't going through some unprecedented misery that requires her to take her anger out on a baby. Again, discounting the PPD factor.

 

[yuchiyo]

Oh em
So much stress

 

[tuna_mayo]

@AnimefangirlX

I have to disagree with you. PPD can be much worse even if the environment is “not that bad”. My sister suffered from one when she had her first son, she’s not that young, her husband and in-laws are caring, and my family was super supportive, but she still had it, even got suicidal at some point. Seeing as Ercella had to give birth that young, her husband went to war and god knows if he’ll return alive or not and her father and in-law died, I’m not surprised if she’s super depressed and I think for a young girl that’s traumatic enough especially with her mindset that her husband married her for convenience