"Captain Karen is... 
1: ...leaving the country tonight on the next airship!" 
2: ...having another fever! Quick, come and wipe her body!" 
3: ...abducted by a band of were-rabbits!" 
4: ...getting married!" 
5: ...cooking! Please stop her, for the sake of public safety!" 
6: ...missing in action!" 
7: ...secretly a man!" 
8: ...secretly your sister!" 
9: ...asking to see the manager! What should we do!?"